Codependency, Pia Mellody, and The Meadows
What is Codependency?
Codependency is a much used, but hard-to-define term. For most people
(including mental health professionals), it is defined by a laundry list of
Through my own recovery and training with Pia Mellody, I came to
understand codependency in a different way. (Pia came to these discoveries
over many years in her work at The Meadows, a world-class treatment
facility in Wickenburg, Arizona.) According to Pia, the disease of
codependency is a condition of emotional immaturity which impacts the
following core areas:
The 5 Core Issues
•how we value ourselves (self-esteem issues)
•how vulnerable we allow ourselves to be (boundary issues)
•how we see ourselves and those around us (reality issues)
•how dependently and interdependently we act (dependency issues)
•how moderately we behave (moderation/containment issues)
How does Codependency develop?
When each of us is born, we enter the world with five immutable
characteristics which make us precious.
The Precious Child is:
• spontaneous and open
As children grow, they are born into dysfunctional families who, though
usually not maliciously, fail to parent the child in a way where the child feels
valuable and worthwhile. Children experience an array of less-than-nurturing
experiences with their caregivers which can be identified by several names—
child abuse, childhood trauma, or relational trauma. This trauma impacts the
nature of the precious child and creates the core issues described above.
What does Codependency Recovery look like?
(based on The Meadows’ protocols)
•Getting Your History Straight
looking at your childhood in a realistic, non-blaming manner, free of
denial, minimization, delusion, and dissociation about your
•Reducing Carried (Inappropriate) Emotions
addressing core issues and the induced feelings which came from
•Installing a Functional Adult
parenting self from a mature place, forgiving self and others
The important thing to realize is this—You are not crazy! There are real
things, often subtle and hard to spot, which have created a shame problem
in you. This shame will cripple your family life, work, and friendships. It is
never too late to start the recovery process. Call or email me today.
Contact Mark to discuss your codependency recovery today.