Holiday Hope l Mark’s Blog
December, 2025
One thing can be agreed upon: December is a pretty crazy time.
We can pretty much be assured of at least a few of the following: there will be more traffic on our local streets (esp. true in Pasadena!); at some time when we are urgently trying to make a last minute purchase, we will pick a checkout line with the rookie cashier who is not sure how to process a return and is “waiting for a manager;” we will encounter an occasional difficult person who is having a bad day; and we will face longer than usual lines at the grocery store or at your favorite restaurant.
What’s underneath much of the stress of these events is that we refuse to accept that holiday season, by its nature, is just this way. Instead, we have internal dialogues about how others are doing things incorrectly )especially regarding others’ driving skills). As many a wise 12-stepper has repeated: “And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.”* When we accept things as they are, we realize we are limited in how we can control the traffic, the department store, the restaurant lines, and especially other people and their problems.
The opposite of this would be to hold onto certain expectations of what we should accomplish, of how our loved ones should demonstrate their love and appreciation of us, of how strangers should behave, and of how the holiday activities themselves should look. This creates untold pressure. It’s a trap!
As an alternative, we can choose acceptance, where we are better able to take care of what we have control over: namely, ourselves. We are in a better position to stay regulated in our bodies and our minds. When we are self-regulated, we are less likely to react to what others say or do. This allows us to live in action instead of reaction. And by doing this we create a safer environment for ourselves and others which allows for more enjoyable times.
*Alcoholics Anonymous, p.417
As you read this, ask yourself:
What is one holiday expectation I could eliminate?
Since I know that holiday season is crazy busy, how could I prepare myself so that I don’t “lose it” (become dysregulated)?
Here’s to your Christmas or Hanukkah season filled with unexpected wonder.
Until next month,
Mark